HOW TO CLICHE: Your Guide to AJ Cliches!
Chapter 1: Adoption Adoption is where every baby jammer who wants to grow up to be a cliche imbecile starts off. To be adopted, first, decide whether you want to be a baby (or bay be, as some call it) or a dog. Babies are the recommended choice, but if you choose to be dog, please skip to the final paragraph of this chapter. Anyway, to be a baby, first you must be a bunny, the stereotypical animal for adoption. Then, you must be all white with female eyes, even if you are a male. Next, you go to the Pillow Room and find a spot where you can get the most attention (you'll see why in just a few sentences). After that, you sleep. And finally, you scream phrases to get you adopted. Popular examples are: " adopt me plz plz plz ol mommy leafed me " and " adopt me plz membrsz onlee ". It may take a while, but soon enough, you'll get a " caring " mom who enjoys leaving you alone in her den, which is usually terrible, while she is going to Jamaa Township and asking for males. (see Chapter 4). And now, for dogs. If you're going to be a dog for adoption, just follow these simple steps. First, be an arctic wolf and make yourself brown with black dots, because that's apparently a breed of dog. Next, go to the Pillow Room. Then, find a nice spot to get all the attention. After that, scream " WOOF WOOF BARK BARK WOOF IS A GUARD DOG ". If you want to be an even more annoying pooch, then you have to find a lonely baby and annoy the crap out of her until she wants you to be her puppy. Chapter 2: Being An Adopted Child Congratulations! You have been adopted by a " caring " mom! Now, here comes the fun part: being a child! First off, make sure the mom doesn't have to go offline instantly. Then, put on a tiara and skirt, because all girls have to be pretty or else the moms will never want them to be in the house. Next, begin to beg her for everything. For example, for cookies, toys, pets, or items. Make sure you do this in all caps, or your point will never be made. Hopping is recommending while begging. After that, wait a minute to see if the mom goes to get the things you want. Even if she buys it or not, tell her she got the wrong thing and cry. Soon enough, complain about how your mom was being mean and scream at her. Finally, tell her that you're suddenly a teenager by becoming a wolf (because that's how evolution works) and leave, right into your awkward years of joining a clan. Chapter 3: The Clan Years Ah, yes, the Clan Years. The awkward stages of every cliche jammer's life. Its when you go around, pretending to kill every single thing you see. Most people rename themselves things, such as " Darkclaw ", "Thunderclaw ", " Riverclaw ", and " Clawclaw ". They also say NN and NM, meaning no nothing and no miss. It has always been a mystery why it is required to do these things to be in a clan, but I have a theory it's because it's the Animal Jam equivalent of puberty. Anyway, to join a clan, you must first become a wolf or bunny, because wolves are cats and bunnies are kits. Decide which you would like to be, and go find a clan. You can usually do this by going to Sarepia Forest on a full server. When you go there, find a clan that is right for you. Then, equip yourself with a fox hat and a sword, and run around fighting things. To also be in a clan, you must embrace your inner healing powers, because every clan member has them. This cures every last problem the clan has. Eventually, you get tired of the clan life and settle down to a family... right after you find a mate. Chapter 4: Mating Mating: its the time in your life to mingle and meet new people. First, you must become an arctic wolf (because remember: EVOLUTION!). Then, make yourself all pink with a heart pattern. Next, put on the Sparkly Bow and Sparkly Boa and go to Jamaa Township. Say " if u like me (or heart me) come 2 mai denn ". This will hopefully attract many men. When you find somebody, go to your den and have a conversation with them, about your life. Remember to frequently use the love emotes. Eventually, you will have a strong bond. When you do, change your den to a small den. Put two couches vertically together. Lay down on the bed. And then- *censored for the sanity of the reader*. And there you have it! You have a father and it's time to adopt your very own child! Chapter 5: Children!